Sunday, 31 July 2016

Music on Sunday; Songs in tv shows

The other day when I was watching this tv show about a hacker I noticed the great choice in music. Some tv shows do that, not all. Grey's Anatomy does that for years now. It makes or breaks a story.
So today I wanted to share some of the moving, or some new to me and some rough pieces of music I've come across;

This song is in one of the episodes and is a translation of Jaques Brel's ne me quitte pas;

that's one of the good things about Mr. Robot; modern songs are being interchanged with classical music, which gets the perfect mood!

Now some songs which were in Grey's Anatomy;

© KH

Friday, 29 July 2016


It’s that time of year again

I should rejoice really

But I’m sad

Sad because you have gone

You didn’t even say goodbye

I knew it for a couple of days now

It was your time to go

I just didn’t want you to leave

It will be a long time before

I will see you again

I don’t like this time of year

It will be quiet outside

The weather is too warm most times

For my taste anyway

But you know it’s time to go

That must mean a change is on the way

You always know when to go

I hope you will get there safe

And come back safe as well

See you in Spring, sweet birds who make me happy

© KH

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Music on Sunday; Gregorian chant

Today I am just in the mood for this ; Gregorian chant music. It is church music sung as a single vocal line in free rhythm and a restricted scale (plainsong), in a style developed for the medieval Latin liturgy.

Even though I am not religious anymore I still like some things of the Catholic church I grew up with.

© KH

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Taking time for yourself

Yesterday I was visiting a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We had a wonderful afternoon together and talked about what happened in our lives. At one point I told her that I found myself to be somewhat of a titmouse and I felt I hadn't been very social lately. She felt that you sometimes needed time for yourself to work out the things that were going on in your own life, that you couldn't be there for someone if you had too much on your own mind.

She's right of course but still I always feel guilty whenever I haven't spoken to people who I think I should have contacted. That's probably the first step; Stop feeling guilty for taking time for yourself.
Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. Or as my friend told me; 'You can't handle someone else's problems if you still have your own to deal with'. You just can't be there for someone so you have to take care of yourself first.

The most difficult thing there is in working on yourself is 'learning to love yourself'. Of course everyone will say that they do love themselves but try saying it in front of a mirror to yourself that you love yourself. That you love what you do, who you are, or worse, how you look like. It is damn hard, but it all starts with self acceptance. A stress free life starts with self love. I am nowehere near that I know but I'm working hard on it. 
Try writing down the things your proud of or what you like about yourself. 
I think I'm not a bad mum-no rephrase that; I'm a great mum! I do a hell of a job in not so great circumstances. I'm also a caring person (wanting to follow that with a 'but' but I won't) 

Don’t punish yourself for wanting and needing the quiet moments. You’re human and taking care of yourself is as important as that next pay cheque or keeping in touch with all your friends in real life and/or social media. You are not selfish, you deserve it.

© KH

Sunday, 17 July 2016

Saturday, 16 July 2016

Quotes and Pics 239; Love your enemies

With all the goings on in the world I felt the need to express something and the way I can do it best is through quotes...

© KH

Monday, 11 July 2016

Blog 1100; Still searching but also still standing

I started this blog in 2011 after being on several other blogsites. I didn't like to leave the others, it also meant I had to leave my stories and other things, but it wasn't always my own choice. Looking back Blogger would have been the better blog but when you start to look back you sometimes wish you did a lot of things different.
I started out in Dutch but since I have a lot of online friends from all over the world who like to read my blog from time to time I started to write in English. Sometimes I even can express myself better in English anyway.

They one thing over the years that has staid or better has come back is that I want to improve myself; be a better version of myself but more my search for Inner Peace.
Reading back some blogs I've written I keep on struggling with that; with myself and with finding that Inner Peace.

A few days ago I found out that my external hard drive was broken and couldn't be fixed. All my pictures, photos, edits and some stories are on there. The man in the store said I should always have two places to store things on to be safe. Two? Why? I thought it would be safe, they told me so.
I was sad, felt anxious and hurt all at the same time.
I don't think I have had an easy life, it could be worse but still it hasn't (still isn't ) been easy. Often times I feel like I am struggling through things alone. Like I'm fighting alone.
Inner Peace would be very welcome so that I always have something to fall back on.
Even though it hasn't been easy I think I have been strong all the way, sometimes maybe too strong.
But there is no one to catch me if I fall, no strong arms to hold me if I break down, so I have to be strong.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, that you meet the peope you are supposed to meet to help you or that you learn from them even if they hurt you. You grow from that. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have an easy life, far from it. But you grow from it if you do it right.
I'm not so sure sometimes if I'm doing it right. If I read back to see I am struggling to find Inner Peace for years; am I doing it right? I get distracted from my path, or more that I let myself be distracted from my path, which is something I don't like very much. I also know exactly what's the cause of that; my partner with autism who is diverting me away from the path to Inner Peace.
He can't help it I'm sure but the fact remains is that I let it happen. I let myself be distracted from it. I could have been there ages ago if I wanted. I have to work even harder to get there. But at the same time I think ; go with the flow, let it be...

After all this time I'm still doing what I'm always doing; relying on myself, trying to find Inner Peace and working hard to keep my head above water. There's got to be more than that; head above water is a little too disturbing, it has to be more easy than that.
I'm still here, I'm still standing and I will get there one day. That Inner Peace will come, someday.

© KH

Sunday, 10 July 2016

Music on Sunday; sad songs

Lately I'm feeling kind of sad, even depressed maybe off and on due to the changing of hormones in my body. Stupid menopause! I'm feeling down at times and that's no picknick I can tell you! It's hard to pick yourself up when you're down. Music always helps and because I always have loved the sad kind of music no time like the present... Enjoy;

'When you try your best but you don't succeed'

''These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase''

'everyone I know goes away in the end'
need I say more

"I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend."

Enough said.

My old time favourite to dwell in my own sorrow; 
as the lady sings; 
'I'm so lonely I don't want to be with myself anymore'

'look at all the lonely people'

'you're on your own, in a world you've grown'

you don't wanna hurt yourself... 

© KH

Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Think before you...

After almost two weeks without Social Media I am thinking about returning to it slowly only not in the way I did before.
Yesterday I almost fell into the trap again. While watching something on the news that I thought was really ridiculous I wanted to tweet about it. I remembered I had restricted myself from Social Media and couldn't tweet about anything. Maybe that's the trick I thought; Before you tweet anything stop yourself first as if you aren't able to be on any of those social media sites. If later on you still think it is a wise thing to say anything about a subject you still can. But most people (myself included) talk first and think later.
Maybe if peope thought about things first then we wouldn't have the 'Zwarte Pieten' (Black Pete') discussion already in April while it is something that is happening in December.

The reason I wanted to react on Twitter yesterday was related to that by the way. One of the amusement parks in the Netherlands where I am going to for just about whole my life from when I was a kid was being attacked by the same group as those who were against the Black Pete thing. Some people just go too far I think and don't have anything else to do with their lives. Thinking everything amusing is suddenly racist.

Just a fun thing in an amusment park and all of a sudden it's rascism... As long as I can remember people were having fun in the biggest park of the Netherlands singing along to the songs belonging to the different rides. No one ever complained; until now. Must be the weather....

Anyway, it made me think or rethink my part on social media; I always post before I think, write before I think, or even speak before I think. That is why I get in trouble in the first place. I am honest to people I say what I think but not everyone appreciates that. It can also hurt people of course. Sure you can be honest but do people want you to be? I'm not so sure about that anymore.

So I've come to the conclusion that it's okay to be on Social Media, only with moderation.
After all; I have met most of my friends online and what would I do without them!?

© KH

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Holding onto pain

Everyone has a different past but somehow I think that most people, how different their past is, can relate to what I'm about to describe.
From my personal experience I have found that no matter how many times you've been happy in the past, or no matter how many positive things have happened you tend to remember the negative things more. Why do we do that? Most certainly the good things that have happened in our lives are worth it to be remembered too. They most times outweigh the negative things but still we experience the bad, the negative things in such a way that they are remembered better. Loss, friends who leave us, relationships break-ups, divorce, you name it or it has happened to me, and I'll bet it has happened to you as well. But the fun times, the happy times, the great hollidays, the laughter, the hugging, love, what is it that we release these memories and have sleepless nights over the negative ones? It's the worst thing we can do for our peace of mind!
It causes more harm than good and why? For me it even causes overthinking things.

Three ways that holding onto the pain are causing more pain;

1. You blame yourself. 

I did this after I got a divorce. It's a classic. You blame yourself. No matter what you're worrying about; the 'could've, should've, would've'. When that comes in the picture you know you're in trouble anyway. You know you're too late to do anything about it so stop doing it! Easier said than done I know! Deep down you know that everything will be alright one day, someday somehow. If you only give yourself time to heal. Not dwell on bygones.

2. You think you can change it. 

Hello, McFly! It's the past! Unless you have invented a timemachine or can borrow the one from 'Back to the Future' you can't go back to the past. What's done is done.
My life's motto is; Everything happens for a reason. I firmly believe in that. We may not ever know what the reason is but that there is a reason for it I am sure of.

3. You don't allow yourself to grow from it. 

Everything that happens to you, happens for a reason I said that already. You learn from it, you grow from it. You get wiser so to speak. So if you constantly carry your hurt around with you and keep dwelling on it you don't grow, it is holding you back from growth, from moving on. Maybe you don't want to move on, or don't want change. I am the first one to admit I don't like change much either. But without change no growth. Without change there would be no butterflies.
You have to let go of your past so that your past can turn into a fond memory, one that you can remember one day and think; I did good, I had made the right choices in life.

© KH

Sunday, 3 July 2016

Music on Sunday; Sports

We've been watching Euro2016 and Wimbledon the past weeks which we normally don't Wimbledon yes but football we normally only watch if our own national team plays but this year hub and I even find it exciting to watch to our own surprise. We will probably watch some Olympic tennis as well (hub maybe more sports like rowing)
So for today's music on Sunday; songs to do with sports, about sports or EK songs...

Starting with this years EK song

And the ultimate sports/winner song of course;

© KH

Friday, 1 July 2016

For the love of Rainy Days


Today is July 1th and June came and went wetter than ever. Where ever you go, in stores or at the home for the elderly, even on tv people are complaining about the rain, the weather.
Now we Dutch are known for knowing how to complain. We complain about almost everything but the weather is our favourite subject of all time. Even the weatherman was complaining last night having to tell us it is indeed going to rain again. 

I have always been fond of rainy days. I can't remember me being any other way. I love stormy clouds rushing through the sky as if they are chasing each other. The darker the cloud the more beautiful I think it is. The sound of rain when you are still in bed, or when you wake up in the middle of the night, is so sweet. The smell of the the first rain touching the ground is delicious to me. 
My garden is blooming perfectly with all the downpour of late. 

Rain is one of the greatest gifts Mother Nature gives us.
Rain is full of negative Ions. Ions are electrical charged particals in the air and they're all around us, positive and negative ones. Too much positive Ions is generally bad. Certain things create negative ions. Water smashing apart is the best example. That's why a waterfall always feels so 'invigorating' when you stand by it, because of the high negative ion count in the air. Ditto why so many people have great ideas in the shower.
So rain is full of negative Ions and both body and brain love it. 

But it's also 'White noise'.
The term "white noise" basically means what's generally called "static", like in between stations on a radio dial. It's also the sound rain makes hitting the ground. 

So I'm not so crazy after all, liking rain so much. It's good for you! 

© KH